Taking Responsibility of Your Life and Feel Happier Now
Do you find yourself unhappy with your life? You can’t seem to find anything that makes you feel content or fulfilled?
You can have a truly wonderful life.
Now before you say “No I can’t”, or turn to a different blog post, read these 6 tips below for taking responsibility of your life and feel happy now.
First things first, you need to be honest with yourself.
What is it in your life that is absolutely awful?
If you can’t think of anything that is actually wrong (a severe sickness, death of a loved one, you lost your home, etc.) and can think of only things like “I’m bored”, “I don’t like my job”, “I don’t like where I live”, etc., know that your life is really not bad and we can work together to put joy back in your life.
If you can pinpoint one specific thing that is making you unhappy, like maybe your relationship, consider the following:
is there anything that I could do to make things better?
what is it exactly that is making me unhappy? (my husband doesn’t listen to me, my wife doesn’t show me enough affection, etc.)
is this really making me unhappy, or is this an excuse?
You’re going to have to be honest when you’re working on taking responsibility for your life, or none of the other steps will matter.
Remember that small things can be making you unhappy and it’s ok to note that. Is your home too full of clutter? Own it, and do something about it. Do you need to take some time each week for yourself? Nothing wrong with that, but you need to identify those things that are holding you back from being happy, be honest with yourself, and then do something about them.
When someone asks you to go to something do you say you would, but can’t because you have a dog?
Or you can’t go out because your husband/ wife/ kids/ whoever are home and they don’t want to go, so you can’t either?
Do you blame your significant other for bringing you down?
Do you tell your friends you can’t go out because you have kids?
Blaming someone else for you not doing something is simply an excuse. If you don’t want to participate in the things you’re being asked to do, that’s ok, but simply say no thank you, you don’t need to make an excuse or blame it on someone else. Own it.
Would you be happy if you had more money? If you had a different family? If you lived somewhere else?
I have to admit, I am not a huge fan of winter. I absolutely love summer, the sun, beach, and warmth. However, I live in Northern Ontario in Canada and we have winter. I wouldn’t necessarily complain out loud about winter, but I was thinking negatively in my head about it.
But why complain about something completely out of my control? I can’t control the weather, and unless I decided to move somewhere else (which I didn’t want to do), I decided to do something so I could enjoy winter.
I aim to take my kids to public skating once a week, depending on their hockey schedule (we went yesterday and had a great time!)
I am borrowing my parents snowshoes to see if I enjoy it because I think that is a winter activity I would enjoy.
I took time to play outside with my kids, and bring them for rides on their GT’s (which gave me some great exercise and I felt great after!)
If you’re complaining about something, don’t just stop, but think of how you can flip your complaint to something you can be happy about.
if you wake up day after day and do the same things, but expect a different life that you love, you will likely keep living the same life.
If you are unhappy with your life, you need to do something! Anything!
Are you bored everyday? Try something new. Walk on a new trail, play a game, pick up a magazine about a hobby that you might like, or watch a YouTube video and learn how to crochet. There are so many things to try in the world, and if you’re bored, sorry to say it, but that’s your fault.
Maybe you are happy with your hobby, but feel unsatisfied at work. There are still plenty of opportunities to make your time at work enjoyable. Could you speak with your supervisor about changing positions? Could you take a walk during your lunch break, or take that time to work on your hobby?
Make yourself happy
Do you like having fresh flowers in your home? Go buy/ pick some for yourself and place in your kitchen or office each week.
Do you love attending art galleries and getting inspired by the creators? Make a routine each month to go see a new museum, or ask a new friend each week/month and make a day of going to a new art show.
Don’t wait for someone to buy you flowers. Don’t wait for a friend to ask you to do something. Do whatever it is that makes you happy, and stop waiting for someone else to give you your happiness.
Look for the good
I totally get that you might be in a situation that sucks, or you seem to have extremely bad luck. But is there anything good in your life right now?
Do you have a home to live in?
Do you have a good friend?
Do you have a job?
When you’re feeling down, try to find one thing to be grateful for. It could be that the day is bright and beautiful, or your kids are being really well behaved in that moment. It’s hard to be sad when you are being grateful, so if you can find the good in your day, even if it’s one thing, that will help you move into a more positive state.
Are you taking responsibility for your life? Share with me in the comments with some things you do to feel happy with your life.
*(I understand that some people may be going through more than being sad or sorry for themselves and are truly going through depression and this isn’t a substitute for help with that. Please reach out to someone if you need serious help.)